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Some parents try to influence their children to see the situation as they do. When parents cannot have these conversations, even with help, they often find themselves bringing their indecision to court for a judge to intervene. #If the kids are united they will never be divided professional#Parents may choose to work with a mental health professional with an expertise in this area to help them understand their differences and to talk through the various options available to them to make the transition the least disruptive for their children. ![]() The responsibility of working out the parenting plan for their children rests with the parents. Anecdotally, this appears to be true whether they had a good relationship with the unchosen parent or not. In retrospect, they regretted having made a decision that was honored, feeling guilty about the parent they did not choose and feeling the tug of loyalty between the two people who brought them into the world. I have spoken with many adults who, as children, “got to choose” where to live when their parents divorced. Whatever the reason, by early to mid teens, a court is likely to take the child’s concerns into consideration in making an order while being very careful not to ask the child to make a decision and learning as much as possible about the context of that preference.Īsking a child to make a decision, even when the child believes they would like to do so, is often detrimental. The child may only know that Mom or Dad is not taking them where they want to go but not that it is not affordable. Sometimes the decisions are financially impacting one parent differently than the other. However, children rarely know all the details of how a parent decides to do something or what both parents talk about regarding their decisions. When Mom or Dad uniformly does not support a child’s activities when that activity spans the parenting time of both parents, it is not surprising to a judge that a child might have a preference. Or the preference might be because Mom is supportive of Joey’s desire to be on the soccer team or takes him to his horseback riding lessons or is excited about the dance program he is in. It could be that Susie might want to live with Dad because he is more lenient in his rules… He doesn’t make her go to church, let’s her stay out an hour later, doesn’t nag her about homework, etc. Their preferences are not usually considered in a vacuum, however. ![]() In general, the older they are the more their preference might be considered. They appear to be uniformly surprised to learn that a minor child does not have the legal right to decide which parent to live with.ĭepending on the jurisdiction in which you live, the age of your child may matter only in terms of the weight a judge might give to a child’s preference, should he or she have one. Many parents tell me their child will be 12 years old, 13 years old, 14 years old soon and will be able to make their own decisions. On a fairly regular basis I am asked by a divorced parent how old their child must be before they can choose which parent they want to live with. #If the kids are united they will never be divided how to#How to Send Appointment Reminders that Work.Rules and Ethics of Online Therapy for Therapists. #If the kids are united they will never be divided software#Practice Management Software for Therapists. ![]()
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